1. |
Pilot
04:12
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Lying in the trash next to where my passion went. The Pilot's out of gas, well I think I'm getting used to it. And I'll ask for a prescription that I know I'll never get. Well I heard you showed up late, too bad that I already left. And I will play the victim if you want me to. And I will be your pipe dream, it's the least that I can do. And if everyone's alone here, then what does that make you. If everyone's alone then what's the use. I am so detached, I'm guessing that makes two of us. You don't know what you have, when will you know you've had enough. And this hardly ever happens, but it happened to me once. And I can't believe I'm asking, but I don't know what you want. It's only nine o'clock and I woke up in the living room. Sleeping on the job, it's safe to say I'm leaving soon. Nobody ever asks me if I still believe in you. That's just as well, I wouldn't tell the truth.
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2. |
Techniques
03:50
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I know just where to find you, the pieces never fit the way you want them to. I'm a pedestrian at night, I am a bad idea on the great divide. I'm deep blue sky. Every choice we've made exists in a timeline of a universe that's built from our decisions. Before we met I thought I saw you in a dream. At the time I didn't know what that means. And when you look at me is when I understand that where I want to be right now is where I am. I'm not as lost as I had at one point thought. This means the world to me, everything that I want. I spend all my time outside, I memorized the walk home. And we crossed paths in a different life, and I know, I know.
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3. |
Twenty Bucks
03:51
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Out of cash, out of luck. Spent my last twenty bucks in the thrift store parking lot, looking for answers in this coffee cup. Haven't been myself in months, no closer to what I want. How many good deeds have I done, when will I know when enough's enough. Half asleep on the couch at Derek's place, I'm zoning out. There is a history in this house. I had my friends now I have myself. There was a pattern that was hidden here somewhere. It got so cold out, at the time I didn't care. There was a truth we burned in the pit of the backyard, and I learned when we die all that ever happens is we die.
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4. |
On the Mend
04:08
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Back in the summer I was buried underground. The months all blur together I was always losing count. The gravity was killing me, I was nothing left at all. The sun was in my eyes and it was beautiful. I changed my mind, I no longer want that life. I'll learn to start again, I will learn to get it right. And I am fine, even when I don't know why. I'm always on the mend, I'm getting better all the time. My dreams were static, old routines and nothing new. I don't have much to show but I don't ever envy you. My body's something hollow, all my bones began to break. I reset all my joints, put me back in place. I'll hold it together now, I think that I'll be fine.
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5. |
Lake Tamblyn
04:22
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Well I could scream at the top of my lungs that I hate this town and nothing's keeping me here, but in the end there's no place that I'd rather be, if for reasons that aren't entirely clear to me. And I still think of you from time to time, what exactly did you see. You've changed a lot, but I'm proud of you. I think that you'd be proud of me. Well I could proclaim that I'm not alive, and all my ghosts are coming back to life. Would we begin to see brighter days. An unspoken word that I'm saying anyways, well I am saying it anyways.
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6. |
Shalashaska
03:38
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The world is ugly, if you could see it. Someone's struggling, but there's no meaning. The world's a mystery, but we can't solve it. Someone's listening, but we're not talking. And I'm still wasted, can't breathe through my nose. Disintegrated, you're displaced and depressed and alone. And I just want to know if you can put your past behind you. Yeah I know you want to die, you know I'd hate to see you try.
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7. |
Half Dream
03:33
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Tap on the glass until it breaks, distort the features of my face. Laid on the grass in autumn leaves, until there's nothing left of me. You took your meds, you took your time, neither of them were truly mine. A person drowning underneath the washed out canvas of the sky. Do you feel awkward or ashamed, do you feel like something fundamental changed. The body that I have does not belong to me. I can't remember getting here I fell asleep. Weaving in and out of shapes, familiar sounds I just can't place, remnants of a half dream, always out of reach. I asked if you could let this go, truthfully I don't want to know. The daylight waned, it got so dark, forgot exactly where we are. I lost my temper, I stayed inside. A common thread between you and I. I sat back and let you sink, I just assumed that you'd be fine. I swore I'd never let you down, I'm just glad that you can't see me now. I haven't been the same since then, all I wanted was to be your friend.
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8. |
Police Tape
03:05
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The air is frigid, I've got no feeling in my toes. I'm having visions of a bruised eye and a broken nose. You're not in heaven but I figure that you must be closed. You're moving backwards, but these places look the same. You're popping pills, you're getting answers for a change. The house is vacant, but part of you still remains. Police tape covered lines, they keep me out of reach. I'm not the type to make a promise I can't keep. I'll try and fix this, but I don't even know what that means. And if the world has turned its back on you, then I will be your friend. And if you're struggling to stay afloat, then I'll offer out my hand. And if you feel like giving up, hey man, I understand. There's nothing wrong with being sad, but I can't let you do that.
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9. |
Old Soul
04:28
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I'm outside, can you let me in, and where exactly have you been. You're asking me for things that I know you won't survive. Your door is locked, I don't know why. I scattered facts in front of you in your backyard in the summer, from the window of your room. You said it didn't matter but I kind of think it might. I didn't ask, it's probably fine. Old soul, has your time finally come. Are you peering through the blinds, are you staring at the sun. And I know it's not the same as when you were young, but you've got bills to pay for a life you didn't want. Broke and angry, broken down, it doesn't seem so funny now. I fell asleep behind the wheel, all my dreams in black and white. You won't pick up, are you alright. We don't talk much anymore, I can't show you the right path, I can't even find the door. It might be in poor taste, but at least you're still alive. We shook hands and said goodbye. And I'm playing back my life like footage from a tape, a film that I can't recognize. And I'm playing back my life, the faces of the people that I love and how I've never done them right. But that's not an excuse to die.
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Soapboxer Thunder Bay, Ontario
www.facebook.com/soapboxerband
Dream pop band from Thunder Bay, ON. We like playing tunes and making friends.
If you like Soapboxer, you may also like:
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Toronto's indie supergroup returns with a single of wistful jangle pop about Facetiming.
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